Finally, a country song I can relate to

Brad Paisley’s “Online”

Video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GcVnhNjWV0 (embedding disabled, boo)

Lyrics:
I work down at The Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I’m five foot three and overweight
I’m a sci-fi fanatic, mild asthmatic,
Never been to second base
But there’s a whole ‘nother me
That you need to see
Go check out Myspace.

‘Cause online I’m out in Hollywood
I’m six foot five and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati, I’m a black belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell ‘em I don’t want nothing serious
‘Cause even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat
With two women at one time.

I’m so much cooler online
I’m so much cooler online.

I get home I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac
In real life the only time
I’ve ever been to L.A.
Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade.

But online I live in Malibu
I pose for Calvin Klein
I’ve been in GQ
I’m single and I’m rich
And I got a set of six-pack abs that would blow your mind
It turns girls on that I’m mysterious
I tell ‘em I don’t want nothing serious
‘Cause even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat
With two women at one time.

I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online.

When you’ve got my kind of stats
It’s hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and lose a bunch of weight
Every time I log in.

Online I’m out in Hollywood
I’m six foot five and I look damn good
Even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat
With two women at one time.

I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online
I’m so much cooler online
Yeah, I’m cooler online.

3 Comments

  1. MKate
    Posted February 4, 2008 at 2:29 pm | Permalink

    That is completely aweseome!

  2. honeybee
    Posted February 12, 2008 at 3:57 pm | Permalink

    Brian,

    I just saw the photos of your mom’s house that you took several years ago. How are things there now? I truly hope she has gotten some help for the compulsive hoarding.

  3. Posted March 6, 2008 at 2:32 pm | Permalink

    Yes - that is a funny song and a stinking hilarious video. He gets William Shatner to do a spot in it, and the annoying guy from Seinfeld, Jason Alexander is our “hero”. My husband can identify with Brad Paisley’s new single “I’m Still a Guy”.

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